Fantasy Flix: Gargoyle

Saturday, December 15, 2012

Witchslayer Gretl (2012)

Director: Mario Azzopardi
Writers: Angela Mancuso (story), Brook Durham (teleplay)

Twenty years after his encounter with the witch, a grown-up Hansel returns to the haunted forest, seeking revenge. But there's a surprise waiting - his sister Gretel (who he thought had been killed) is the witch's protégé.

So, Here we have another lovely offering from Syfy. I know you are all highly anticipating to find out if this lives up to the extremely high quality of offerings that Syfy puts out. The answer is, of course, yes. And by that, I mean yes, it's pretty mediocre.

And, of course, that doesn't mean I didn't enjoy it, because I did. This is a straightforward, no-nonsense Syfy fantasy flick. There are other Syfy offerings that I have enjoyed more, but this one is ok. Followers of my blog will understand that I mean this movie is not very good, so if you are a new visitor here don't expect a LOTR epic, or even a Season of the Witch. You should know what you get with Syfy.

So, here we go...
The story is straightforward and nothing fancy. It's easy to follow with a few (and expected) inconsistencies. The acting is fine. As a big Stargate fan, I can't say anything bad about Dr. Beckett, I mean Paul McGillion although he really should do his accent all the time... no matter what. Emilie Ullerup is pretty good, and Sarain Boylan is probably the worst actor here. She's not down-right awful, but the others are better. Shannen Doherty is really not in the movie much, so don't have much to say about her. Although this gives me the opportunity to ask... Why is this called Witchslayer Greyl and not Witchslayer Hansel? It makes no sense.

The special effects are standard Syfy effects, which means they are pretty bad. Their creature effects really need to step up someday. The "magic effects" are usually fine, but sheesh.. every Syfy movie creature looks the same.. and terrible.

I'm not going to talk about the females much, as this is a family friendly, TV show, with no sexuality what-so-ever. But, Emilie Ullerup is pretty cute.

The action is typical of these shows, which means not bad, but not good either. There's good spacing of the action, so I really was not bored watching this.

Verdict: Typical Syfy fare.. If you like em, you'll like this. If not, skip...

The Cast

Paul McGillion ... Hansel

Emilie Ullerup ... Ehren

Sarain Boylan ... Lara

Shannen Doherty ... Gretl

Jefferson Brown ... Abyss

Anne Shepherd ... Ture Zora

Clara Pasieka ... Young Maiden

Daniela Lazzaro ... Newborn Witch

Frank J. Zupancic ... Ehren's Father

Marianthi Evans ... Witch Ingonito

Maxwell Uretsky ... Young Hansel

Sophia Ewaniuk ... Young Gretl

Gene Arsenawil ... Newborn Witch's Brother

Remy Duselle ... Newborn Witch's Father

Nahanni Johnstone ... Thorne

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Dragon Crusaders (Video 2011)

A group of fugitive Knights Templar attacks a pirate ship and they are cursed to turn into hideous monsters. To fight the curse and ultimately save the world, they must defeat the wizard-dragon who is determined to destroy it.

Director/Writer: Mark Atkins

Here we have an offering from Asylum Entertainment. You know, the guys who bring you such wonderful movies as Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus, and Meteor Apocalypse. They are also responsible for bringing low budget versions of some Hollywood flicks. I won't bag on them too much though, because at least they will make movies in the fantasy genre, even if they are generally not very good.

Dragon Crusaders is another flick that could be considered Syfy quality. But, to be honest, I've seen a few Syfy flicks that are superior to this one. I'm struggling a bit giving one of my short reviews of this movie, because there were some small portions I did enjoy. But overall, this is not a very good movie at all.

The story itself is straight-forward. A curse is put on a group of ex-crusaders by accident (whoops!). They must kill the big bad in order to break the curse. It's hard to put a finger on what is bad in this movie. The editing is pretty terrible. The characters seem to jump scenes out of nowhere. Props appear out of nowhere. Characters appear out of nowhere.

The acting overall is not very good. I had a hard time figuring out who was supposed to be the main hero here. I decided on Cecily Fay who is pretty kick-ass. Apparently she did all of her own choreography and stunts here, so I give her a lot of credit. She's not the most attractive woman, but her presence gives her a strange appeal that I can't quite put my finger on. Shinead Byrne is adorable and so makes me wish this movie was rated R. As for the men, the only stand-out here is Feth Greenwood who apparently has never acted before. I found him quite amusing and really good.

The effects are what you would expect. That is, not good at all. I've seen Syfy oringals with better effects than this. Although Dragons are in the title, you don't see much of them til the very end. Which is good, because they don't look very good.

The action is where this movie steps it up. Most of these actors are not actors. They are fighters, stunt men and riders and I think it shows. Most of the action scenes are well done and pretty entertaining.

This movie could definitely benefited from an R rating. A good amount of nudity could have enhanced this to something a lot more enjoyable. Overall, I can't really recommend this unless you are a completionist like me. Try to look for the few good things this film offers and enjoy those, but I don't think you'll like this movie overall.